Dangers of dating a separated man
Child support payments are based on the cold hard numbers reported by both spouses in their tax returns. Like it or not, he has financial responsibilities in taking care of his kids, period.I would be gravely concerned about a man’s character if he did not want to fulfill those commitments. Whether he was the perpetrator of infidelity or the victim, the tailwinds of cheating bring an ugly stench to the divorce process.More often than not, it’s anger, self-pity, and feelings of entitlement that fuel a man’s complaints over support. So if you decide to stick around, I’d recommend you prepare for more than a nose full.He might feel he deserves more of a say, more over how she spends the money, among other things. If he was the perpetrator: Though some experts say, “Once a cheater, always a cheater”, I personally think that some people can learn from past mistakes.If he was the victim: Depressed, angry, and mistrustful.
When a man has truly processed his divorce and moved on, he should be able to speak to it with compassion, kindness, and wisdom.
It’s a mentality of “this bitch owes me” and he’s speaking from the Victim position. That being said, if your separated man was unfaithful in his marriage, you need to proceed very slowly and spend extra time assessing his character, behavior, and moral code.
Two important warning signs to watch for are self-justification and blaming.
Some people say they are separated, and are still fully involved with their former spouse, working out the details of a divorce, maybe, discussing child custody, planning to sell the house, maybe.
One man said he was separated, but in reality, that meant separate bedrooms, same house. One man (35 years ago; I was young) made me hide when his ex came over to leave something for the kids’ next visit. One guy was mortified when I said in passing that I didn’t date married men, and he knew he hadn’t finalized the divorce and he had been misleading me. I didn’t, but he did finalize the divorce within two months.