Dating after divorce and how that effects a child
Leah Klungness, co-author of The Complete Single Mother, states that post-divorce dating can be stressful for children.Don’t assume that kids will understand the need for a “crazy phase” of dating.Tread carefully when introducing children to your new partner.Klungness recommends that any new relationship should be exclusive for several months (that is, a serious relationship and not a casual affair) before they are introduced to the children.Relationships can be full of amazing highs and joys, but they can also reach extreme lows. Once you have moved on, there is often a whole new world of situations to deal with, such as introducing children to a new person in your life.Read more: 12 Clear Signs You’re Ready to Start Dating After Divorce Watching a parent fall in love with someone other than their previous spouse can be challenging for a child.Introduce the new partner as a “new friend” and not the new “love of my life.” Sensitivity Counts.Children may have more trouble adjusting to their fathers’ dating relationships than their mother’s.
I once worked with one child whose Mom told me that she was not introducing her boyfriend to her children as a boyfriend, only as a friend. When you consider dating after a divorce, and especially before you introduce your child or children to a new partner, there are some very important factors you should evaluate. Let’s all agree to treat them with the love, respect and caring that they deserve, especially during the divorce process.This includes taking care of yourself, making sure that you spend quality one-on-one time with your children, and ensuring that all potential dating partners will be good role models for your children. Rios Paulsen LMFT, MS coaches parents to successfully navigate the divorce and parenting process in the best interest of their children. She has 15 years’ experience coaching thousands of parents in the divorce, conflict and court process.She has written two books on children and divorce, The 7 Fatal Mistakes Divorced and Separated Parents Make: Strategies for Raising Healthy Children of Divorce and Conflict & Healthy Children of Divorce in 10 Simple Steps: Strategies for Raising Healthy Children of Divorce If you answered no to any of the above questions, you are not yet ready to introduce your child to the person you are dating. Your attitudes and behaviors on dating will be a model for your children.Teenage children are entering a new world of dating behavior that may include sex, and will look to their parents as models of behavior. Research has shown that single parents’- and especially mothers’- attitudes and behaviors on sex and dating influence their children’s attitudes and behaviors.